A programmer has died and is judged. Neither evil nor good overweighs, he is proposed to choose between paradise and hell.
May I look at them?
They show him an enormous hall full of computers, nets, etc?
This is paradise, you'll be user here.
And where is hell?
Right here, but you'll be a system programmer here?
Citation of the day - Lukashenko:
"Belorussians will be living badly?But not so long."
Press note from 2300:
"Latest Internet excavations have shown that Windows-95 is not a virus, as it has been supposed earlier due to that the codes of Windows-95 have been discovered everywhere, but a so-called operation system, i.e. the program designed to hide from users the scantiness of architecture and other bugs of ancient computers."
A sermon in a small Far West town:
- Drinking is the cause of all your failures.
You drink a bottle of whiskey, go home, your wife makes scandal, you take your colt and being ivy certainly miss.
Family scene.
Somebody has taken money from the dad's purse. He asks his son:
- Son, why have you taken my money?
- Dad, why are you asking me but not mom?
- No way, there are still some money in the purse!
Microsoft Corp. and Boeing Corp. are proud to declare a month of their joint program for free flights on jet Boeing 797 Beta. You are welcome!
What's the difference between woman and Win?5?
There is no difference, both possess the ability to throw onto you heads tons of useless information and ask for three confirmations of obvious things.
- Why have you divorced with your husband?
- He treated me like a dog?
- How's this?
- He wanted faithfulness from me.
A husband finds his wife in bed with his best friend. Friend tells the husband:
- You know, we both love her. The matter is not simple, but we're sportsmen. Let us draw her playing cards.
- Well, but make a small stack, so that I have any interest. Two lamers speaking?
Yesterday I have been with my comp, started Norton?
See, on the left panel is C:\ and on the right panel is C:\.
I'm thought, what for I need two, and deleted everything from one of them?
When he was home alone Fedor used to see the movie of his marriage in reverse order.
He wept each time when he saw how he goes out of the registration office a free man?
Objective reality is a delirium caused by lack of alcohol in blood.
A couple of programmers lay in a bed.
She: Do you want to repeat the procedure?
He: Function has not returned the value.
Windows message:
"CPU not found. Software emulation"
Advertisement:
"We will deliver your cargo for 1 hour to any point of the world. We guarantee the accuracy and exactness.
Russian Strategic Missiles Forces." After shopping a programmer and his wife enters the street. The wife says: Stay here and look for these ten bags, I will call for a taxi.
Returning in a cab the wife sees upset husband rearranging the bags.
Programmer: You're told me there are ten bags here, but I have counted only 9!
Wife: But there were ten of them!
Programmer: But, let's count: 0, 1, 2, 3...... Imagine that you are in a room with Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot and Bill Gates and you have a pistol with two shots.
What would you do?
I would shot Gates twice? Inexperienced pregnant programmer cries.
Mother: How could you?.. How dare you?
Programmer: But he promised to become a registered user?
May I look at them?
They show him an enormous hall full of computers, nets, etc?
This is paradise, you'll be user here.
And where is hell?
Right here, but you'll be a system programmer here?
Citation of the day - Lukashenko:
"Belorussians will be living badly?But not so long."
Press note from 2300:
"Latest Internet excavations have shown that Windows-95 is not a virus, as it has been supposed earlier due to that the codes of Windows-95 have been discovered everywhere, but a so-called operation system, i.e. the program designed to hide from users the scantiness of architecture and other bugs of ancient computers."
A sermon in a small Far West town:
- Drinking is the cause of all your failures.
You drink a bottle of whiskey, go home, your wife makes scandal, you take your colt and being ivy certainly miss.
Family scene.
Somebody has taken money from the dad's purse. He asks his son:
- Son, why have you taken my money?
- Dad, why are you asking me but not mom?
- No way, there are still some money in the purse!
Microsoft Corp. and Boeing Corp. are proud to declare a month of their joint program for free flights on jet Boeing 797 Beta. You are welcome!
What's the difference between woman and Win?5?
There is no difference, both possess the ability to throw onto you heads tons of useless information and ask for three confirmations of obvious things.
- Why have you divorced with your husband?
- He treated me like a dog?
- How's this?
- He wanted faithfulness from me.
A husband finds his wife in bed with his best friend. Friend tells the husband:
- You know, we both love her. The matter is not simple, but we're sportsmen. Let us draw her playing cards.
- Well, but make a small stack, so that I have any interest. Two lamers speaking?
Yesterday I have been with my comp, started Norton?
See, on the left panel is C:\ and on the right panel is C:\.
I'm thought, what for I need two, and deleted everything from one of them?
When he was home alone Fedor used to see the movie of his marriage in reverse order.
He wept each time when he saw how he goes out of the registration office a free man?
Objective reality is a delirium caused by lack of alcohol in blood.
A couple of programmers lay in a bed.
She: Do you want to repeat the procedure?
He: Function has not returned the value.
Windows message:
"CPU not found. Software emulation"
Advertisement:
"We will deliver your cargo for 1 hour to any point of the world. We guarantee the accuracy and exactness.
Russian Strategic Missiles Forces." After shopping a programmer and his wife enters the street. The wife says: Stay here and look for these ten bags, I will call for a taxi.
Returning in a cab the wife sees upset husband rearranging the bags.
Programmer: You're told me there are ten bags here, but I have counted only 9!
Wife: But there were ten of them!
Programmer: But, let's count: 0, 1, 2, 3...... Imagine that you are in a room with Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot and Bill Gates and you have a pistol with two shots.
What would you do?
I would shot Gates twice? Inexperienced pregnant programmer cries.
Mother: How could you?.. How dare you?
Programmer: But he promised to become a registered user?
天知道楼主在说些什么？
给点建议....
就给我吧！~！