mysql连接远端服务器时的错误

当我在连接别人服务器上的mysql数据库的时候出现了错误，mysql数据库是别人的 别人给我开了个用户名和密码   不知道怎么了   我取connection的时候就报了这个错误com.mysql.jdbc.exceptions.jdbc4.CommunicationsException: Communications link failureThe last packet sent successfully to the server was 0 milliseconds ago. The driver has not received any packets from the server.
at sun.reflect.NativeConstructorAccessorImpl.newInstance0(Native Method)
at sun.reflect.NativeConstructorAccessorImpl.newInstance(Unknown Source)
at sun.reflect.DelegatingConstructorAccessorImpl.newInstance(Unknown Source)
at java.lang.reflect.Constructor.newInstance(Unknown Source)
at com.mysql.jdbc.Util.handleNewInstance(Util.java:409)
at com.mysql.jdbc.SQLError.createCommunicationsException(SQLError.java:1118)
at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.readPacket(MysqlIO.java:675)
at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.doHandshake(MysqlIO.java:1078)
at com.mysql.jdbc.ConnectionImpl.connectOneTryOnly(ConnectionImpl.java:2312)
at com.mysql.jdbc.ConnectionImpl.createNewIO(ConnectionImpl.java:2122)
at com.mysql.jdbc.ConnectionImpl.<init>(ConnectionImpl.java:774)
at com.mysql.jdbc.JDBC4Connection.<init>(JDBC4Connection.java:49)
at sun.reflect.NativeConstructorAccessorImpl.newInstance0(Native Method)
at sun.reflect.NativeConstructorAccessorImpl.newInstance(Unknown Source)
at sun.reflect.DelegatingConstructorAccessorImpl.newInstance(Unknown Source)
at java.lang.reflect.Constructor.newInstance(Unknown Source)
at com.mysql.jdbc.Util.handleNewInstance(Util.java:409)
at com.mysql.jdbc.ConnectionImpl.getInstance(ConnectionImpl.java:375)
at com.mysql.jdbc.NonRegisteringDriver.connect(NonRegisteringDriver.java:289)
at java.sql.DriverManager.getConnection(Unknown Source)
at java.sql.DriverManager.getConnection(Unknown Source)
at com.fairytale.chat.db.DbUtil.getConnection(DbUtil.java:19)
at com.fairytale.chat.db.DbUtil.main(DbUtil.java:107)
Caused by: java.net.SocketException: Connection reset
at java.net.SocketInputStream.read(Unknown Source)
at com.mysql.jdbc.util.ReadAheadInputStream.fill(ReadAheadInputStream.java:114)
at com.mysql.jdbc.util.ReadAheadInputStream.readFromUnderlyingStreamIfNecessary(ReadAheadInputStream.java:161)
at com.mysql.jdbc.util.ReadAheadInputStream.read(ReadAheadInputStream.java:189)
at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.readFully(MysqlIO.java:2499)
at com.mysql.jdbc.MysqlIO.readPacket(MysqlIO.java:599)
... 16 more