java 连接远程 postgresql 报错 请教高手

服务器是windows
数据库 postgresql 8.3在连接远程postgresql数据库时报错：
org.postgresql.util.PSQLException: 连线被拒，请检查主机名称和埠号，并确定 postmaster 可以接受 TCP/IP 连线。
at org.postgresql.core.v3.ConnectionFactoryImpl.openConnectionImpl(ConnectionFactoryImpl.java:123)
at org.postgresql.core.ConnectionFactory.openConnection(ConnectionFactory.java:66)
at org.postgresql.jdbc2.AbstractJdbc2Connection.<init>(AbstractJdbc2Connection.java:124)
at org.postgresql.jdbc3.AbstractJdbc3Connection.<init>(AbstractJdbc3Connection.java:30)
at org.postgresql.jdbc3.Jdbc3Connection.<init>(Jdbc3Connection.java:24)
at org.postgresql.Driver.makeConnection(Driver.java:386)
at org.postgresql.Driver.connect(Driver.java:260)
at java.sql.DriverManager.getConnection(DriverManager.java:525)
at java.sql.DriverManager.getConnection(DriverManager.java:171)
at cn.JavaService.connectDB(JavaService.java:79)
at cn.JavaService.getConnection(JavaService.java:97)
at cn.JavaService.authenticateUser(JavaService.java:105)
at sun.reflect.NativeMethodAccessorImpl.invoke0(Native Method)
at sun.reflect.NativeMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(NativeMethodAccessorImpl.java:39)
at sun.reflect.DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.java:25)
at java.lang.reflect.Method.invoke(Method.java:585)
at flex.messaging.services.remoting.adapters.JavaAdapter.invoke(JavaAdapter.java:406)
at flex.messaging.services.RemotingService.serviceMessage(RemotingService.java:183)
at flex.messaging.MessageBroker.routeMessageToService(MessageBroker.java:1417)
at flex.messaging.endpoints.AbstractEndpoint.serviceMessage(AbstractEndpoint.java:878)
at flex.messaging.endpoints.amf.MessageBrokerFilter.invoke(MessageBrokerFilter.java:121)
at flex.messaging.endpoints.amf.LegacyFilter.invoke(LegacyFilter.java:158)
at flex.messaging.endpoints.amf.SessionFilter.invoke(SessionFilter.java:49)
at flex.messaging.endpoints.amf.BatchProcessFilter.invoke(BatchProcessFilter.java:67)
at flex.messaging.endpoints.amf.SerializationFilter.invoke(SerializationFilter.java:146)
at flex.messaging.endpoints.BaseHTTPEndpoint.service(BaseHTTPEndpoint.java:274)
at flex.messaging.MessageBrokerServlet.service(MessageBrokerServlet.java:377)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:803)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.internalDoFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:290)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.doFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:206)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardWrapperValve.invoke(StandardWrapperValve.java:233)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContextValve.invoke(StandardContextValve.java:175)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardHostValve.invoke(StandardHostValve.java:128)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorReportValve.invoke(ErrorReportValve.java:102)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardEngineValve.invoke(StandardEngineValve.java:109)
at org.apache.catalina.connector.CoyoteAdapter.service(CoyoteAdapter.java:263)
at org.apache.coyote.http11.Http11Processor.process(Http11Processor.java:844)
at org.apache.coyote.http11.Http11Protocol$Http11ConnectionHandler.process(Http11Protocol.java:584)
at org.apache.tomcat.util.net.JIoEndpoint$Worker.run(JIoEndpoint.java:447)
at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:595)
Caused by: java.net.ConnectException: Connection refused: connect
at java.net.PlainSocketImpl.socketConnect(Native Method)
at java.net.PlainSocketImpl.doConnect(PlainSocketImpl.java:333)
at java.net.PlainSocketImpl.connectToAddress(PlainSocketImpl.java:195)
at java.net.PlainSocketImpl.connect(PlainSocketImpl.java:182)
at java.net.SocksSocketImpl.connect(SocksSocketImpl.java:366)
at java.net.Socket.connect(Socket.java:519)
at java.net.Socket.connect(Socket.java:469)
at java.net.Socket.<init>(Socket.java:366)
at java.net.Socket.<init>(Socket.java:179)
at org.postgresql.core.PGStream.<init>(PGStream.java:62)
at org.postgresql.core.v3.ConnectionFactoryImpl.openConnectionImpl(ConnectionFactoryImpl.java:77)
... 39 more。请教高手：服务器postgresql 需要怎么设置？？？
用过方法：
1。postgreSQL.conf中的listen_address改为* 
2。pga_conf 增加 1行远程的规则
还是不行